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(start of episode)
(VO) Let's go for a little ride. My name is George Lass, I'm 18
years old and I am down there, somewhere. I'm going to tell you a story, not my
story, that's later. This is just a story, ready? Once upon a time or more
specifically at the dawn of time, god, lower case g was getting busy with
creation as the kids these days are saying. He gave toad a clay jar and said "be careful
with this, it's got death inside" pleased as punch and obivious to the
fact that he was to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, toad promised
to guard the jar. But then one day toad met frog "let me hold the jar of
death" or whatever you call it frog bag. With a nod to Nancy Reagan's pro of wisdom, toad
just said no But frog was deetermined and after much whining toad finally gave
in "you can hold it but just for a second" he said. In his excitement
frog began to hop around and juggle the death jar from one foot to the other. Frog
was an
asshole.
"Stop" toad cried out but it was too late, frog dropped
the jar and it shattered to the ground. When it broke open death got out and ever since all
living things have to die. Makes you wonder how much better the world would be
if frog had stuck to hocking beer. So there you have it, the mystery of death
finally revealed, we all die, some of us sooner than later, for me, it's
going to be much sooner but that's only the beginning of my story,
(Betty on top of a high building, feeling the rush of wind going
through her
hair)
(VO)That's not me
(Fast motion into the Happy time office where George is sitting
down with her headphones on looking sullen)
(VO)That's me. I'd say I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but I am not.
I excel at not giving a shit. experince has taught me that interest begets expexctation
and expectation begets dissapointment, so the key to avoiding
dissappointment to avoid interest. A equals B equals C or A or whatever, I also don't
have a lot of interest in being a good person or bad person, from what I can
tell either way you are screwed. (Robber running from the scene of a crime)
Bad people are punished by society's law
COP: Drop your weapon. Put your hands in the
air! (row of cops open
fire)
(Lady standing on a picket fence trying to give some milk to a cat
"who's a pretty kitty, here you are, come on sweetheart")
and all good people are punished by Murphy's law.(she falls off
the picket fence and the cat drins the milk) So you see my dilemma (Crystal stares at
George unblinking from behind her desk. Woman comes over with a clip board and pen)
DOLORES: Georgia Lass? Hi I'm Dolores Herbigg as in Her big brown
eyes. I'll be your Happy Time career counsellor. Why don't you come with me
(George gets up after much effort, still staring at Crystal to see
if she blinks, unsure of her)
DOLORES: Some college huh? didn't finish?
GEORGE: Some seemed like enough
DOLORES: Mmm. I see you have management experience in the food
service industry
(cuts to George working in a greasy spoon restaurant. Over the
tannoy "Big mamito with a cherryone peptid tide and an order of empty tots")
GEORGE: Yeah
DOLORES: Do you ever wake up in the morning and realise that your
life is meaningless?
GEORGE: What?
DOLORES: Are you familiar with the Microsoft Word Office Suit?
Word? Access? Powerpoint?
GEORGE: I know Lotus
DOLORES: (Laughs slightly)We use Excel now dear, you might want to
think about taking some tutorials. I'm going to get straight to the point.
What kind of work are you looking for?
GEORGE: (shrugs her shoulders)I dont know. What's availible
DOLORES: For you we have clerical positions, reception, data entry
GEORGE: I was told to ask about being an executive assistant
DOLORES: (snorts) Well you can ask. To be absolutley honest with
youre rather limited experience in education, youre better off sticking to
redundant duties.How do you feel about filing?
GEORGE: I never thought about it
DOLORES: Maybe you should
GEORGE: Can I make an observation? I havent seen to smile once
since you set foot in this office and a sunny disposition goes a long way in any line
of work, especially here at happy time. Trust me no employer is going
to want a sad sack on their hands. Look at me, I certainly wouldn't have gotten far
as that...
GEORGE: How far is that?
DOLORES: I beg your pardon?
GEORGE: How far have you gotten? I mean it's not like this is a
corner office with a view and like every day, you have to find jobs for other
people, mostly that are going to be better than yours and that has to suck and I
bet they don't pay you much either.
(Dolores face drops)
GEORGE: Just making an observation
(Dolores grits her teeth and tries to smile)
Transition
The Lass family home. At the dinner table. George and Clancy. Joy
comes from the kitchen with a bowl of mashed potato
CLANCY: How thing's go today?
GEORGE: Okay
CLANCY: Just okay?
GEORGE: Yeah. Just okay
JOY: She bitter because they told her she wasn't qualified to get
a decent job
CLANCY: Aww sweetie, I'm sorry
JOY: you want to know what I think?
(VO) Here we go
JOY: You should have never dropped out of college and I still don't
understand why you couldn't at least finish the semester. (a pair of glasses
floating) What happened to you Georgia? You used to have friends,
you used to be
so smart, it's like you just gave up. Well I hate to say" I told you
so"
GEORGE: You love to say "I told you so"
CLANCY: Sweetie don't talk that way to your mother like that, you
know it only aggrevates her
JOY: (sarastically)Oh thank you honey, that's so helpful
(VO) Meet the family. Joy, 41, is a Virgo. She is a career
secretary and enjoys ice skating and John Grisham novels. She's pathologically afraid of
balloons and hates the word moist, she thinks it's pornographic.
(George looks over to Clancy)
(VO)Clancy age 43 is a cancer, he is a tenured proffessor of
English at UW, and I'm told very well respected. He's having an affair with one of
his graduate students.
(VO)and that's Reggie, She's 10, she's not really invisible, but
is far as i'm concerned she may as well be.
GEORGE: This is delicious. And moist
(Joy bangs down her fork and looks hatefully at her daughter,
Reggie smirks)
George lying in her bed
(VO) When I was little my mom told me Santa Claus didn't exist,
neither did the easter bunny, the tooth fairy or the great pumpkin, even
though she didn't say so specifically I just sort of assumed that god didn't
either, otherwise I would probably be praying right now
(sees the light on in her closet, opens it and Reggie is there.
George takes her out and leads her out of her bedroom)
I'de pray for world peace ectera and maybe even for a little
guidance. I mean do you know what it is like to be like cusping on adulthood and not
know who you are? What you want to be or even if you want to be? It's ten shades
of suck, is what it is.
(It's morning and Joy opens George's bedroom curtains)
JOY: Get up
GEORGE: Mom!
JOY: That woman from the temp agency called, she's got a job for
you
GEORGE: What kind of job?
JOY: Beggers can't be chosers
GEORGE: I don't feel good
JOY: Too bad
GEORGE: I think I have a tempurature
JOY: Damn it Georgia you are not six years old (Pulls the covers
off george) 18 years of coddling, is enough for you young lady, you think you are
going to spend the rest of your life suckling at my retirement
fund, you've got
another thing coming. You will get out of bed and you will work, you will
collect pay
cheque and you will move out of this house. Understood? (puts clothes on
George's bed from her closet) Get dressed
GEORGE: Those are funeral clothes
JOY: There is going to be a funeral if you don't get your ass out
of bed
(VO) Those are the last words my mother will ever say to me
JOY: Now move it!(She leaves the room)
(VO) Boy is she going to be sorry
GEORGE: Who had the nerve to name you Joy?
Transition
At Happy Time, down in the basement, George is walking behind man
with her funeral clothes and a sticky badge that says "Hello! I'm new, ask me
my name"
DATA ENTRY GUY: So you see these all these boxes, we required a
small insurance company based out in Spokan about two years ago. all their claim files
were shipped here for electronic data convertion. This is what we call the pit. Get cosy
'cos you are going to spend a lot of time here, so your mission should you
chose to accept it is to sift though all this crap and code it for the pencil-necks
in data entry.
Think you can handle that?
GEORGE: Sure, Whatever
DATA ENTRY GUY: Cool. So what did you do to piss Dolores off?
GEORGE: Huh?
DATA ENTRY GUY: Dolores Herbigg, as in her big brown eyes. Huh you
must of done something. She only gives this job to people she hates.
(VO) As the work day progressed I began to susspect that Dolores
Herbig as in her big fat ass was the devil and she'd condemned me to hell.
To spite the big hoofed one I took every opportunity to shirk my duties.
But even though I did my best to do very little, most everyone
else was doing even less (Man looking at porn on the computer and man taking a
cigarette break near the paper flues. George comes out of the
elevator with a stack
of files)
Welcome to corporate America. Was this it? was this who I was? Would I
forever be remembered as a file clerk? or worse a temp! (Doesn't quite make
it out the elevator and the doors close on her making her drop one of the
files, that drops down the shaft. Walks down the long room with a desk at the end)
CUTE GUY: Just toss them in there. Where are the other files?
GEORGE: Err, what other files?
CUTE GUY: Yes, the ones I requested with the red flagged cases
GEORGE: Yeah, looked for those, I couldnt find them
CUTE GUY: Well files don't just disappear
GEORGE: They do if you drop them down an elevator shaft
CUTE GUY: Is that a joke?
GEORGE: I dont know, yeah, maybe. Can I go now?
CUTE: Which elevator?
GEORGE: The middle one
(George walks away)
(VO) I was doomed to spend the rest of my life in a lousy dead end
job and I'm not just being dramatic. It really is going to be the rest of my life,
which actually only amounts to about hour an half or so
(swqeaky Trolly with data entry guy goes past, stops, and comes
back)
DATA ENTRY GUY: Hey what's up?
GEORGE: Nothing
DATA ENTRY GUY: nada mucho, that's cool, then it's your lunch hour.
We'll see you back in 35
GEORGE: If it's my lunch hour why is it only 35 minutes?
DATA ENTRY GUY: Oh 'cos they did some research like five years ago
and I guess they
clocked some folks and figure to go somewhere and go get youre
food, you
know like eat it.
So we'll see you in 3(puts three fingers up) 5 (puts five fingers
up)
Transition
(debris hurtling down to earth come down to George at a hotdog
stand)
(VO) It was a beautiful day, the sun was shinning, the sky was
blue and the
Russian
space agency was de-orbiting the earth.(man with The Local
Dispatch news
paper
held up with the headline MIR's Fiery Plunge) Evidently there was
a
miscalculation in the density in the ionisphere at the point of
entry or
something like that, the whole thing was supposed to fall in the
Pacific
Ocean
but a few peices made it to the West Coast including the seat of a
0G toilet
REAPER: Excuse me, you got the time?
GEORGE: Five after one
REAPER: Thank you, thank you very much. So what is your name?
GEORGE: Umm George
REAPER: I mean your middle name? you got a middle name?
GEORGE: Fuck off, would you
REAPER: Does it start with an L? You better hurry George, youre
going to be
late
(moves the hair from her face, she looks puzzled and walks off, he
reaps
George
just before she goes. She nearly trips over the toad)
(VO)They say that your entire life flashes in front of you the
moment
before you die, that might be true if you are terminally ill or
your
parashute
doesn't open, but if death sneaks up on you the only thing you
have time to
think is......
GEORGE: Awww shit
(total impact on Georrge, the reaper standing there looking sad.
ghost
George stands there,
looking shocked, seeing all the people picking themselves up.
Walks towards
her shoe and
moves it with her foot. Somebody is running and runs straight
through her,
she gasps)
(flashes to Hangman where a lady is standing next to the board
that says
YOU'RE
DE_D)
(VO) Ide like to solve the puzzle
(starts walking really fast)
RUBE: Hey, dead girl. Hold on there a minute
(VO) That's Rube, he's undead
(George starts to pace as if she is having a panick attack)
(VO) They say that there are like five phsycological stages of
death,
ironically this even applies when you are already dead. Number
one, denial
GEORGE: This isn't happening, this isn't real
RUBE: oh peanut, this is as real as it gets. Youre dead
(Betty walks up to her)
(VO) That's Betty, also undead (she catches George's stick on
badge and
puts it back on her)
BETTY: This is yours
RUBE: Mercy thing made a hell of a noise, didn't it?
GEORGE: But I don't remember feeling anything
BETTY: Your soul was popped out before impact
RUBE: We do that for violent deaths as a curtesy
GEORGE: (she starts to cry) But I didn't want to die
RUBE: Ah nobody does, except suicides. They are no fun
(VO)Number two is anger
GEORGE: I'm only eighteen, I haven't done anything. This isn't
fair. So what
are
you like angels or something?
RUBE: Oh no ma'm
(Betty laughs demurely)
RUBE: Angels don't like to get their hands dirty, you know upper
managment
types.
We have the unfortunate distinquinshion of being called grim
reapers
(VO) Number three is bargaining
GEORGE: Well then can't you take somebody else? or an old person,
that
homeless guy,
I won't tell I promise
BETTY: Alright
GEORGE: Really?
BETTY: No!
GEORGE: Well I want my life back!
BETTY: It's not like you were doing anything with it
(VO) And then there is depression
(George walks over to a nearby bench and plonks herself down, Rube
follows
her)
RUBE: I know what might cheer you up
GEORGE: What?
RUBE: Your autopsy
(VO) There's something about seeing your body all empty and cold,
or in my
case little chunks and pieces. Rube says "It's like looking
at a bowl of
homemade peach cobbler, you just dropped on the floor, as good as
it might
have
been you just don't want it anymore" it sounds kinda whacked
but it did make
me
feel better
GEORGE: I dont get it, why do an autopsy?
BETTY: Well you still have to identify the body
GEORGE: How hard can that be?
BETTY: You were hit by an object travelling 200 miles an hour,
with a
surface
tempurature exceeding 1500° Farenheit, do the Math
(VO)I don't know what was more disturbing being dead or the fact
that the
first person to touch my naked body was a coroner
GEORGE: This has been lovely and all but don't you think it's time
to be
going?
RUBE: Why you got some place to be?
GEORGE: I don't know, do I?
RUBE: Well you going to stick around 'till your body's beeen laid
to rest
GEORGE: Im meat in a ziplock, how much rest do I need?
RUBE: That's not important, what is important is that you say a
proper
goodbye
to the old life before you say hello to the new life
GEORGE: What do you mean, the next one? Am I beng reincarnated or
something?
RUBE: Don't be an ass
Tranistion
Georgia's funeral. Camera mingling with the guests passes cute
guy.
(VO) Everyone always says the same shit at funerals. They talk
about how
sweet, wonderful and oh-so-full of life you were and how it was
your time
and you
can't question god's plan. They never say anything bad, you could
be the
biggest
turd in the toilet bowl and still come up smelling like a rose
(man comes up to Joy and comforts her by putting his hands by her
shoulders)
MAN: What a wonderful girl, so full of life
(gives her a hug)
Younger man comes in with a load of silver ballons, Joy clocks him
and
rushes
over to him)
JOY: Get those out of here! get out, get out
(Betty is eating the food, Rube and George pass her)
RUBE: And Betty, she just loves funerals. She'd think she'd never
been to
one
before
(Joy throws the ballon man out)
(George and Rube sit down on the sofa. Clancy comes into the room
and looks
at his watch
impatiently. Betty comes to him)
BETTY: I am so very sorry for your loss (she hugs him, while
taking a bit of
her
food from her plate. Onlooking is Rube and George, when one of the
mourners
comes
to sit down and dissperses George)
RUBE: Excuse me, this seat's taken
Man: Excuse me (he get's back up, George re-appears and coughs as
if she has
just
has the wind taken out of her)
GEORGE: How come they can see you but they can't see me?
RUBE: Well peanut, youre dead
GEORGE: So are you
RUBE: Bite your tongue, I'll have you know I am un-dead
GEORGE: What's the difference?
RUBE: As an undead person I have certain rights and privilages,
for instance
I
have a physical body. I can enjoy this sweet, deliciousness of
this tasty
Key
Lime Pie and If I so chose I can even interact the the living.
Observe. Err,
how
do you do sir?
MAN: Fine. See you can't do that
RUBE: That sucks
GEORGE: Yeah, for you dead types, sure but I like it, it keeps the
riff raff
in
its place
(George looks over to Clancy and sees a young man walking through
the door)
CLANCY: Ah, I'm so glad your here
OTHER MAN: Im so glad to be here
(gives a hug that implies that they are more than friends)
GEORGE: Err is a friendly hug between two men supposed to last
that long?
(VO) And then there was Reggie
(sits forward to look at her more closely, sees that she going
somewhere, so she follows her)
Transition
George's old room, Reggie is sitting on steps in her closet)
(VO) After ignoring her for ten years, I guess it ws my turn to be
the invisible sister
(George comes down the stairs)
RUBE: You missed all the commotion, your mother balling so hard
she started
to choke, I almost called the ambulance
GEORGE: Really?
RUBE: She's a mess, she's never gonna stop missing her little girl
GEORGE: Well, since youre interaction man, can't you just tell
them i'm okay
RUBE: I'll get right on it
GEORGE: (she gasps)Wait, then I'll tell them
RUBE: How do you proprose doing that? rattling some chains, make
the lights
flicker, do you know how to make wind noises? I can help you, I
could do
that part (blows
on her face)
GEORGE: Why do you have to be such an asshole?
(George goes through the kitchen door, it flaps. George walks over
to the
fridge
and sees the alphabet fridge magnets are there. Cuts to Joy
sniffing as she
is
clearing away the food from the funeral, she goes into the kitchen
with a
leaking
dustbin bag)
JOY: Awww god damn it (she takes a tea-cloth and goes to mop up
the mess when she looks over to the fridge and sees the word MOiST and the T is
moving)
JOY: (wavering voice)Whaaa
Transition
George and Rube are sitting on the outside wall
GEORGE: So what's next? Onward and upward?
RUBE: Onward not upward. No pearly gates for you, no choirs of
angels, neither
GEORGE: You dick, youre sending me to hell?
RUBE: Don't flatter yourself, youre not that interesting. You
little dead girl are going to be a grim reaper
(whoosh noise in the background. George looks at him in
puzzlement)
GEORGE: Huhhhh
Transition
In the Waffle Haus with George, Betty and Rube. George with her
head in her
hands
as if it is going to explode
BETTY: Hundreds and thousands of people die every day, bodies are
easy, dig
a
ditch, light a match, but what about the souls? who takes care of
them?
RUBE: We do. We're bails bondsman for the disembodied
BETTY: See once their souls ditch their plushy parts they are in
our custody
until they
reach their final destination
GEORGE: I assume you are talking about heaven?
(both Rube and Betty shrug their shoulders)
RUBE: Who knows
BETTY: Whatever it is, I hope it's not all gody-like like the
bible
RUBE: Well I'd like to think it is just like this
GEORGE: So does this mean that there is a god?
RUBE: What do you think?
KIFFANY: Velcome to de vaffle haus, what can I get you?
RUBE: T-bone steak eggs, T-bonesteak medium with eggs over easy, I
want
toast
instead of hash browns and hot syrup on the pancakes and please do
not skimp
on
the butter and a side order of bacon, extra extra extra crispy
KIFFANY: Drink?
RUBE: Lemonade
BETTY: Im not staying. I've got an appointment downtown. I hope
it's not
another
dead hooker
KIFFANY: Miss, Miss
GEORGE: (looks at Rube)You said no-one can see me
RUBE: Now that was before you joined the ranks of the undead, now
order
something
before she thinks youre retarded
GEORGE: Errr, what he's having
KIFFANY: Mmmm-mmm
GEORGE: Okay, I'm still having trouble with this whole "why
me" issue
RUBE: Well you filled someone's quota
(George looks with blankness)
RUBE: Everyone is assigned an unspecified allotment of souls to
collect, now
you
don't know how many until youve nabbed the last one
BETTY: Do you remember that wierd guy that asked you your name
right before
you got
torpedoed by the toilet seat?
GEORGE: Yeah
BETTY: Well you were his last one, which means he gets a
promotion, nice
benefits package and you take his place
RUBE: Personally I was glad to see him go, he was a pain in the
ass
BETTY: (puts on her lipstick by using a knife as a mirror) Oh It's
like
being
the millionth customer served 'xept there's no shopping spree
GEORGE: You could have told me before
RUBE: Well pardon my savoir faire but dying is traumatic enough
without all
the
other stuff messing with your head
BETTY: Oh don't go getting your knickers in a knot, It's a destiny
thing.
Enjoy it
(VO) They kept tossing around words like "destiny" and
"fate", the word
"choice"
wasn't even mentioned, that's because I didn't have one
BETTY: (she gets her coat and bag) Okay bye
RUBE: (face full of food) Bye bye
BETTY: (to George)and congratulations
RUBE: With his mouth very full) Are you going to eat the bacon?
(shakes her head, he takes the bacon off her plate)
(VO) And just like that I became a grim reaper, swear to god. I
was born
again,
but not in a creepy religious way. All around me was a bright
shiney new
world
and death was everywhere
(flicking through a death book)
Infections and parasitic disease, circulatory system disease,
malignant neoplasms, those were the big three the leading causes of death
worldwide but they wern't my problem, Grim reapers are assigned to specific
divisions, my division is external influence, translation - murder, suicides,
accidents exectra, and I do mean exectra
Camera change
(Rube and are waking down the street, further down the road Roxie
is waiting to write a parking ticket, as a crane behind her lifts a large grand
piano. A woman is walking down the street, the wire breaks from the piano and
falls on her head.
The parking meter changes to expired and Roxie writes out the
ticket, she looks at the piano in pieces, sighs and gets back to writing. Rube and
George walk passed the piano, George sees her foot with her shoe off. Roxie
comes over, puts her hand through the rubble and brings out the woman's soul)
(VO) That's Roxie, she could kick your ass. Every reaper has their
own
distinct
style, you know those little personal touches that makes death so
special
RUBE: Morning
ROXIE: Morning
(they walk by each other)
RUBE: You don't just stand there waiting for a piano to drop, in
polite society you take her soul at the corner, you let her have a little dignity
(George looks back and sees a graveling)
GEORGE: So do you guys get off on dropping pianos on people, I
mean is that like fetish or something
RUBE: It's not our job to drop the pianos or the toilet seats
GEORGE: Who's job is it?
RUBE: Gravelings
GEORGE: Gravelings? (pauses)Are they invisible?
RUBE: No, they're not invisible, you just can't see them, not when
you are looking at them straight anyway, but sometimes when something's
about to happen or just happened, you might catch a glimpse of
one of them out of the
corner of your eye, so just don't freak out
GEORGE: But they're real
RUBE: Yeah, I'm afraid so, ahhh they set things in motion, they
make the accidents happen
GEORGE: They kill people?
RUBE: It's like and life and death - they have to exist in perfect
harmony, yin
and yan, call it what you want, but that balance, it has to be
maintained
GEORGE: Or else
RUBE: Or else things get out of hand and that ain't pretty
Transition
Mason is walking down the road with two druggies
RUBE: Hey what's up pussy cat?
MASON: Hey there man
RUBE: George, this is Mason
(VO)Mason. Ahhh Mason,Mason Mason
RUBE: Mason, George
MASON: Hey
Druggie 1: Does this crack have to stop and talk to everyone?
MASON: Shhhhhhhh
DRUGGIE 1: You just shushed me. Now why you gonna do that man,
that's rude?
DRUGGIE 2: That's disrespecting the dead
MASON: (whispers)You two come here, you two just murdered each
other, in a
crack
den, you do not deserve my respect, hence shhhhhhh
DRUGGIE 1: That's cold, man
MASON: Mmm-mmm
RUBE: Sure it's not a week ago, in a freak aerospace accident
MASON: Yeah, I remember you. toilet seat girl
RUBE: (to George)Look you already got yourself a nickname.(to
Mason) Toilet
seat
girl needs a place to stay, you wouldn't happen to know of any
vacancies?
MASON: Ahhh I know that place at Spring Hill, I don't know if it's
still
available but...
RUBE: Well do me a favour and find out. and can you take with? I
need a
break,
I love you peanut but you are wearing me out. I'll see that Mutt
and Jeff
get to
where they are going. If you really want to be my hero, you'll let
her tag
along
on your 2.30, she needs clocks and observation
MASON: What you on about?
RUBE: 9.30am at the Waffle haus, Banana Bonanza's my treat,
(taking them by
the
scruff off the neck and taking them in the opposite direction)
there's your
bus,
go on with the nice man, ah here we go
(with outsaying a word to each other, George and Mason go and
catch the bus)
MASON: Well it's rented out to some accountant guy, (starts to
pick the
lock) he
cooked the books for one of those tribal casinos. he's made sure
that all
their
bills have been paid off from an off-shore account
GEORGE: How did he die?
MASON: I don't know, didn't ask
GEORGE: The bills are paid until when?
MASON: Till someone decides to closes the account, in the meantime
you squat
GEORGE: As in?
MASON: As in settling in property without right or title or
payment of rent
GEORGE: Reapers are squatters?
MASON: Think of it as susidising housing, we preform a public
service, don't
we?
GEORGE: The living probably don't think so
(speed camera to the other room, Mason is going through the fridge
seeing
what
he can find)
GEORGE: What if someone shows up?
MASON: You walk away. Unless the tracher, then you run away
GEORGE: So, how does this work? I just crash here(turns round)
MASON: Yeah more or less
GEORGE: Do I get keys?
MASON: If you can find them
GEORGE: What do you....jesus christ
MASON: What?
GEORGE: (shocked panicked voice) Jesus christ. Jesus christ
MASON: Don't get loud, what?
GEORGE: Those are dead people
MASON: (cool as a cucumber) No shit
GEORGE: Well I can't live with dead people, that's gross
MASON: You wont have to, look at these bodies(walks over to the
bodies)
MASON: (points to one)execution (the other)execution (the other)
execution.
These guys over here were probably tourtured to death. Now this is
a
professional
job
GEORGE: So?
MASON: So, these bodies aren't just going to lay around, they'll
disappear.
They've got cleaning crews for this kind of thing. you know. Yup,
they are
probably on
their way right now with a couple vats of acid and carpet steamer
(Mason starts going through the dead people's pockets)
GEORGE: What are you doing?
MASON: Collecting my salary. Leave the plasic, cash is king
We dont get paid through proper channels?
(smirks) No
(VO) I kept telling myself "they're dead, it's a victimless
crime", then it
occured to me that's probably what those guys who have sex with
corpes do
MASON: There's the accountant over there, why dont you check his
pockets for
the
keys
GEORGE: Oh (walks over to the body and tries to move him to get at
his
pockets -
not loving this moment at all)
GEORGE: Not that I'm any great bastion of morality but isn't
steaing from
dead people kind
of tacky?
MASON: Well, it's either this or get yourself a day job
(VO) He's not joking
Transition A parking meter changes to EXPIRED. Roxie is giving a
ticket out
and
gets into her van where the newly dead piano lady is sitting
(VO)The US goverment doesn't provide food stamps for grim reapers,
we don't
have
special bus passes and we don't get into movies for free. Most
reapers take
what
they can from the dead, others get day jobs
PIANO LADY: Do I need to be crossing over, passing on or
something?
ROXIE: You aint going nowhere until I've filled my quota
Transition
At the accountant's place. Betty comes down the stairs
BETTY: Hi. What you guys doing?
GEORGE: Looking for keys
BETTY: Oh I have them, I called dibs two hours ago
MASON: You've got a place
BETTY: (goes to the female body, takes off her shoe and ties it on
herself)
Probates over. My real estate agent asked me to leave. It was all
very civil
MASON: Well shit, now we are going to have to find her somewhere
to stay
GEORGE: Well can't I just couch surf with one of you guys for a
couple of
days
BETTY: : mmmm, see that's the problem, it's never just a couple of
days, is
it?
MASON: No. Two days becomes a week, a week becomes a month, we
don't know
anything about you
BETTY: I mean you could be a crazy person and there we'd be
inviting you
into our
homes
MASON: You understand our position
Transition
Mason is walking down a hall, with Betty and George following
BETTY: Freinds of mine at circulartory disease give me the skinny
on
vacancies in
their division, now I don't normally share privilidged 411 but I
like you
toilet
seat, you're boxy
GEORGE: There's not going to be arterial spray everywhere is
there?
MASON: Let's hope he was considering he was to die outside the
home (Mason
picks the
lock. The door flies open)
(VO)Enter the angry white man
ANGRY MAN: What the fuck are you doing?
MASON: And who are you?
ANGRY MAN:(looking at Mason) What the fuck are you bitch
BETTY: We are here about the apartment
ANGRY MAN: It's occupied, fuck off (slams the door shut. Mason and
Betty
look
at each other)
BETTY: He called you bitch
GEORGE: Maybe we should let him keep it
MASON: I'm not going to co-sign on this bullshit (knocks on the
door again)
(under breath) don't call me bitch, bitch
MASON: Sorry to disturb you again, it's just that me and my
collegues here
represent the local housing authority
BETTY: The tenant of apartment 12J is deceased
ANGRY MAN: This is 12J
MASON: mmm-mmm
BETTY: Yes it is
MASON: Therefore we are going to have to ask you to leave now
ANGRY MAN: I have rights cock-knocker, I aint going nowhere
MASON: Local and state laws which provide tenants rights are only
applicable
to traditional rental situations
BETTY: They don't cover sqatting
ANGRY MAN: My names on the lease, you peice of shit
MASON: Excuse Me
ANGRY MAN: My name is on the goddamn lease, I want to see some ID
BETTY: You're D.W. Manus
ANGRY MAN: That's right
(Whispers to Betty) You said he was dead
ANGRY MAN: I'm alive and kicking youre ass, if you don't get the
hell off my
slip, right now
BETTY: (looks at note book, closes it) I'm so embarrased
MASON: What did you do?
BETTY: Well I made a mistake
ANGRY GUY: You damn right you did
MASON: Excuse us (grabs Mason by the hand to drag him away from
the door)
(he snarls at George, she runs off with the others)
BETTY: Um, well, he wasn't scheduled to die until next Tuesday
(looks to see what they are talking about)
MASON: Are you shitting me
BETTY: Ithought it said the 1st, but it was the 7th, see I mean
doesn't that
look like a
one?
(let's George look at it)
MASON: That's your handwriting
BETTY: Well I feel bad enough already
MASON: What are we going to do now?
GEORGE: Well I think we should probably leave
MASON: Okay, (looking at angry guy)We'll come back next Tuesday
BETTY: Have a nice week
(VO)the angry white man would keep his apartment for six days
before a coronary thrombosis terminated his lease(guy slammed the door shut) In the
meantime, I was homeless
Transition
George, Betty and Mason are sitting on top of a tall building
MASON: Do you remember the first time you asked your parents about
the D
word?
My dad just about shit his pants. He told me not to worry, he said
that most
people die when they are so old they don't care about living any
more
BETTY: I'm sorry, I tuned you out, were you whinning?
MASON: I didn't sleep for a month, as childhood traumas go nothing
beats the
realisation, everything dies, including you
(George turns away)
MASON: So much worse than what your parents could do, you know
BETTY: I was always a happy child, I never thought about death
that much. Do
you guys want to get some ice-cream?
(VO) Betty treated us to an ice-cream and went on her way. I had
chocolate
chocolate something, Mason had vanilla normally I would find that
suspicious
but on him - it was endering
MASON: (points to a TV screen) Hey look, this is what we look like
to the living
GEORGE: Holy shit
(sings a little ditty and does rabbit ears behind her head)
(VO)Of all the things about being dead, this one freaked me out
the most
GEORGE: Who decides what we look like?
MASON: I don't know, maybe this is our inner child when it grows
up
(VO) if that was the case it looked like my inner child grew to
adulthood paved with crack cocaine, ten dollar blowjobs and maybe a trick baby or
two.
GEORGE: Do you think she's pretty?
MASON: Not as pretty as you
(VO) I should of said thank you, I wanted to say thank you, I
wanted to
smile
and flirt and giggle but instead I said
GEORGE: Whatever
Transition
Roxie in her van, a fly comes into veiw and the camera follows it.
It goes into the bank, passes a banana peel on the floor. Enter George and
Mason into the bank and the fly lands
MASON: Be as the fly upon the wall. Observe, do not interact
GEORGE: That's very zen of you, you must smoke pot
MASON: Seriously. Some reapers believe that your appointment with
death is on the books before you are born
GEORGE: What if they don't make the appointment?
MASON: ouuww, I don't know that one, all I'm saying is don't turn
up to an appointment and start moving shit around and talking to people because you,
you might change the outcomes of events. Treat it like rectroactive crime scene you
stick to the sidelines and look for high risk factors.
GEORGE: Like what?
MASON: (looks around) People behind that counter(cuts to counter -
then cuts back) They are miserable and unhappy people do unhappy things.
Bob's big boy on the ladder, he could slip and fall on somebody tweeker chick,
for all we know she's free-basing the ladies room, could be an overdose
GEORGE: Maybe she just got her period, lighten up
MASON: You get the picture?
(looks over by the door and she sees a graveling going up the
wall, looks down and sees the banana peel)
GEORGE: It's a clue
MASON: Huh!
GEORGE: Graveling in the bank lobby with the banana peel
MASON: Alright, it might not be a graveling, could be murder,
could be suicide, it could be food poisoning
GEORGE: It's the banana peel. Graveling, banana peel
MASON: Okay, it's say it is the graveling but the banana peel is a
bit too obvious
GEORGE: I saw them drop a piano on some chick's head, I don't
think they're trying to score points on originality
MASON: It's not the banana peel
GEORGE: (mimics Mason) If it's not the banana peel, go throw it in
the garbage.
GEORGE: Fine. (walks to the peel) I'll do it
MASON: Alright, we need to entertain the possibility that it might
be the banana peel, now sit back down
GEORGE: That's what I thought you were going to say. Sooo How much
do we know about this person?
MASON: Who?
GEORGE: errr the one that is going to die
MASON: Not a lot, last name Moore, initials BM
GEORGE: (laughs) BM Moore?
MASON: That's what it says
(she still laughs)
MASON: ETD is 2.36
GEORGE: ETD?
MASON: Estimated Time of Death
GEORGE: So is our BM a he or a she?
MASON: I don't know
GEORGE: Youre kidding
MASON: No I'm not kidding. We get a name and address and an ETD
GEORGE: That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. and on a
post-it note?
MASON: The less we know the better
GEORGE: How do you figure that?
MASON: Because it keeps it clean. It's alot easier not to give a
shit when you don't know anything about them.
(VO) so I was like the fly upon the wall, I observed, I didn't
interact and in my observation I heard a lot of B names being bandied about the
office gossip, but were any of them BM's?
(camera goes up a floor to where there is the office manager
shredding paper and having a cigarette)
There is Byron, the embezelling bank manager. (guy on the
telephone) Brenda the office slut (walks up to a desk where she puts an unsealed
envelope on it)
Brad the philandering loan officer(there are a pair of red panties, which
he puts in his pocket and follows her, leaving behind a picture on the desk of
his wife) and Becky, his adoring wife (with baby in one arm cigarrette in the other,
looking very drained, two other kids running around)but there was one more B
name they were not gossiping about
FEMALE TELLER: Hello, can I help you?
(VO) Brett, the hapless bank robber
BRETT: Everyone listen to me,(reading from a scappy bit of paper)
this devise is designed to detect the activation of a silent alarm, If the
silent alarm is detected, I'll start killing everyone......errr people..I mean
I'll start killing people.
(VO) He rehersed all morning
(points a gun at the security guard)
BRETT: Put down your weapon down on the floor. (shouts) now now
now, put your goddamn weapon on the ground
(camera comes back to see Mason and George sitting)
MASON: Still think it's a banana peel?
(camera comes back)
BRETT: Kick it over to me (Brett picks up the gun, puts it in his
belt buckle)
Everybody down on the floor now, now you get on the floor, you get
over here, hurry, how old are you? get out here, now, alright
(goes to them humping)
(VO) Meanwhile the philanderer and the office slut were making
sweet sweet love
(goes to wife sorting out washing, finds his Y-fronts with
lipstick on it)
(VO)as they had done so many times before
(Becky comes through the revolving doors, into the bank with the
three children. Mason and George are lying on the floor nonchantly, watching
everyone)
BECKY: Bradley!! Brad! Brad?
BRETT: (points the gun at her) Down on the floor
BECKY: Don't you point that gun at me, i'm holding a baby here
BRETT: Shut up
BECKY: You shut up (pulls a gun from the baby's carrycot, everyone
gasps)
BRETT: Nobody said for you to stop what you are doing,(George
slides across the floor to where Mason is) the man is waiting for his money
GEORGE: how many people are supposed to die again?
MASON: Just one, I think
(Becky goes to the counter, with the gun pointing to one of the
staff)
BECKY: You? you know Brad?
MALE TELLER: Yes
BECKY: I'm his wife
MALE TELLER: Oh (more knowingly) Oh
BECKY: Yeah, Oh. Is my baby cheating on me?
MALE TELLER: Ahhhh
BECKY: Just tell me the truth(waving the gun about)Is he?
MALE TELLER: Yes maam. Yes the whole bank knows about it
BECKY: Fuck(shocked, she goes and sits down) oh my god, oh
motherfucker
(puts the baby down and comes back to the teller pointing the gun in front of
him)
BECKY: How long has he been cheating on me?
MALE TELLER: Errr I don't know, two years
FEMALE TELLER: Yeah I'de say two, at least
BECKY: Did you make love to my husband?
FEMALE TELLER: No! no
(Brad and Brenda banging upstairs)
FEMALE TELLER: No, no, god no
BECKY: (shouts) Brad?!Brad baby. I'm not going to hurt you, I just
want to ask you something okay? I mean I know you are here because you left your
jacket on the back of your chair (looks round) Is he hiding from me?
MALE TELLER: I haven't seen him since he got back from break
BECKY: Brad! are you back there?get out here right now, I mean it.
(She fires a shot into the ceiling which takes a light out of the office of
Byron, the emezeller, hits his golf clubs and he hids under the desk.)
ROXIE: You better unlock this door
(cuts to Roxie outside her van and her appointment refusing to move. The bullet is still
moving round the
room and hits a large bottle of propane, which ignights the whole
building. the building is starting to shake a bit and plaster falls down, that
makes Roxie notice the blast, Becky stop what she was doing, Brad and Brenda
falling off the desk. Mason and George get up and brush themselves off. Brett
stars heading
for the door for a quick getaway. He steps over the banana peel, sees the
fire crew coming and goes back the otherway, stuffing the bag of money under his
jacket and stands on the banana peel. Becky gets up, still with the gun in
her hand and staggers towards the door, the security guard tackles her to the ground and
the gun flies out of her hand, which Mason stops with his foot. Brett stands ther
frozen until
the fireman has passed him, then he steps over the banana skin again and goes
through the revolving doors)
GEORGE: Nobody died. Is that like kosher?
MASON: It's not 2.36 yet
(Bloke with blue hair comes into the bank with a cheque in his
hand)
SECURITY GUARD: Bank's closed
GUY: ATM's bust boss I gotta to cash my cheque
SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, bank's closed
(waves his cheque around, Mason looks at the name. Brendan
Marshall Moore)
Come on man!
(takes his essence by touching his shoulder, he slips on the
banana peel,
falls face
first to the revolving doors, then a couple for firemen just push
the doors
to get in, but
break his neck on the meantime. Both Mason and George cringe)
MASON: You were right, it was the banana peel
BLUE GUY: (walks behind them) Dude that is fucked up. wait a sec,
is that
me?
MASON: Yeah. Sorry man youre dead
BLUE GUY: (looks gobsmaked) No way. Ah I just got paid, Ah man
this sucks
MASON: do you live alone?
(looks at Mason well shocked)
(VO) (George enters his flat)It had a poorly ventilated third
world youth
hostel kind of
charm, at least there weren't any bodies and of all the various of
sundry
stains none of
them were of blood or gore. (goes over to bed and takes the sheets
off to
wash them)I was
thankful for the little things. (in the laudry room) It was
official, I was
on my own. I
was dead nay Un-dead and not only did I have to find a job, I had
to do
laundry, this was
my so-called afterlife, hypnotised by the soapy swirl of all
tempurature
cheer, it occured
to me if I was alive and well my mom would be washing my shets.
They would
magically
re-appear on my bed, crisp, clean and tucked into the matress,
those days
were over, It
was all over (George standing outside the Lass's home. The mother
is having
a garage sale
where she is getting rid of George's things)That didn't make it
easier to
move on, even
though life had moved on without me (George sees her mother, who
is sitting
down) I felt
like a pervert peeping in from the shadows, I could see her, but
she
couldn't see me
GEORGE: Goddamn, she's selling my shit
JOY: Can I help you?
GEORGE: (she picks up Frank'n'fruity) How much?
JOY: That shouldn't be out here
GEORGE: It's got a sticker on it. Seventy... seventy five you were
going to
sell
frank'nfruity for 75cents?
(VO) Who said you can't put a price on childhood memories
JOY: It's a mistake, it's not for sale
GEORGE: Why not?
JOY: Because I changed my mind
GEORGE: I'll give you five bucks for it
JOY: I told you, it's not for sale
GEORGE: It's just a stupid toy
JOY: It was my daughter's. She's dead. Now give me the fucking
doll
(snatches it off her and walks away)
(VO) I never heard my mom use the F word before. My ears were
actually
ringing
(George follows her)
GEORGE: Where did she get it?
JOY: What?
GEORGE: Frank'n'fruity, Ive been looking for one for a long time,
where did
she get it?
JOY: She got it at a yard sale, when she was a little girl. I
doubt if they
make them any
more, try ebay
GEORGE: How did your daughter die?
JOY: I don't think I want to have this conversation with you
GEORGE: Well, what was she like?
JOY: (stops what she is doing) Why do you care?
GEORGE: I just think it is cool that she had the doll 'as all I
mean.
frank'n'fruity is the
shit
JOY: She drove me crazy if you want to know the truth
GEORGE: What?
JOY: She was stubborn. I think that was only because she was
smart, probably
too smart.
She figured a lot of things out way before her friends, that's for
sure. we
never really
got along. I don't think I was a very good mother. You want the
goddamn doll
so bad(she
gives it to her)you can have it, but only until you find your own
- I want
this back,
understood?
(George nods)
JOY: 5 dollars
GEORGE: It says 75 cents
JOY: You offered me five dollars, you'll get it back when I get my
doll back
(they exchange the items. George just looks at frank'n'fruity and
remembers)
JOY: You need to leave now, your making me tired
GEORGE: Bye
(VO) It was the longest conversation I had with my mother since I
started
having my period.
(back at the apartment, lying on the bed, staring at
Frank'nfriuty) and she
didn't even
know it was me (a spring just pops out of the bed, George just
turns over)
Transition
Mason picking a lock of a door. Opens it
(her mother's voice and the sound of curtain's opening) Get up
MASON: Come on (shakes her awake)
GEORGE: Mom?
MASON: No, I'm not your mother
GEORGE: Fuck
MASON: What?
GEORGE: I was hoping that it was all a dream
MASON: You go get dressed
(pulls a jacket out of her bag that is on her bed, looks at it,
throws puts
the covers
back over her head and the bag falls on the floor)
Transition
At the Waffle Haus. George is circuling a job in career
opportunities,
Roxie, Rube and
Betty are there too
RUBE: Get yourself a place to stay?
GEORGE: Yeah
BETTY: I found a new place too
ROXIE: Oh yeah?
BETTY: Very nicely equipped, all the amenities, a jacuzzi tub,
walk in
closet with shoes
for days and this crazy kingsize bed
RUBE: It's all about the matteress
(Roxie looks unimpressed)
BETTY: Simmons, Terrace Hill, for the infirm
ROXIE: You bitch
BETTY: Babies don't sleep that good, they can't afford to
(Mason comes in and pulls up a chair)
MASON: So did the waitress come back?
(Betty shakes her head)
MASON: Damn I am thirsty. You dont mind, do you? (takes Betty's
drink,
starts drinking,
Betty pulls a face)
RUBE: Banana bonanzas all round
GEORGE: Actually I was going to have....
ROXIE: The man said banana bonanzas all around
GEORGE: Banana bonanza and can I have orange juice
MASON: ... and some water
Three high-pitched sneezes from Betty
ROXIE: Bless you
Excuse me (touches her nipples) Do your nipples go hard when you
sneeze?
GEORGE: errrr.. I don't know
BETTY: Mine do. I could poke my eye out, and your's?
ROXIE: like little diamonds
RUBE: Mine are always hard, Im not sure why
(hands out post-its)
ROXIE: I already did this guy
RUBE: That was senior, this is junior
ROXIE: Oh, that's sad
MASON: They should have died together, saved you a journey
ROXIE: really though (puts the post-it in her hat)
RUBE: So peanut, you feel like you can take a soul today?
GEORGE: Not really
RUBE: That's too bad(gives her a post-it)
(takes the post it. )
ROXIE: Time to bust that cherry
Transition
A sign saying "track 2 Gate B"
(VO)To be or not to be, that's the question and for one unlucky
passenger on
postal link
express, it turns out I have the answer
GEORGE: How do I know which one?
RUBE: Car six, seat four, traveling alone. Once they take their
seat, make
sure they stay
there(walk along in silence as the tannoy goes off)
RUBE: ETD is 7.27 so Its going to be a violent one so make sure
you pop the
soul before things
get messy
GEORGE: How violent?
RUBE: Wear a seatbelt
GEORGE: Do trains have seatbelts?
RUBE: You know I don't think they do
GEORGE: I'm going to vomit (crouches down. Rube sitting down on
the bench)
RUBE: Well the first one is never easy. I remember mine, damn fool
blur
ready nearly blew
my head head off, it took me half hour I could find a peice big
enough to
pull the soul
out of
GEORGE: What happens if something goes wrong?
RUBE: Well look at it this way, youre already dead
GEORGE: It's so not funny
RUBE: You'll be fine, just do everything that I showed you and
I'll see you
at the next
stop, right up here (George gets on the train)
GUARD: All aboard
(VO) I was on auto pilot, everytime my body took a step my mind
screamed for it to stop and run the other way but I kept walking. I wondered which one it
was going to be and how they were planning to get home from the train station, were they
going to take a taxi, or was a loved one supposed to pick them up. If I have one wish, it
would be that the person sitting in car six, seat four would be detained by a security
firm possession of narcotic substances, anything that might not get them on the train (lady
walks in) No such luck, we have a winner. I immediately started to begin to fanatasize about
what a bitch she was, how everybody hated her or that she was barren, had no children to
love her, then this happened. (from behind this lady stands a little girl with a pet
frog in a container)
Her name is kirsty
(from outside) All aboard
(VO) She's in kindergarten, she loves drawing and playing with
lego, her favourite food is french fries and apple sauce and she has to die
(the train pulls off and Rube walks away from the train, he is
driving on the rain to catch up to the train)
(VO) This is why having a destiny sucks. I stared at the back of
her seat to what seemed like hours thinking about all the things I would rather be doing
like having a root canal or a pap smear or going to church
GUY IN SEAT: It sure beats flying, don't it?
What? oh yeah I guess
GUY IN SEAT: You know all the tequila in Mexico couldn't get me on
a plane.
Now there was
a time when I was about your age.....
GEORGE: I can't talk to you right now, I'm praying
GUY IN SEAT: Oh
(he sits back round and George looks out of the window and she
sees a graveling. She hears it scrambling across the roof)
(VO) If only I could just close my eyes and wish this all away,
wish it into the cornfield or whatever. I'd open my eyes and I'd start over, i'd do
everything right. I wouldn't drop out of college, I wouldn't work at some crappy temp job and I
wouldn't die
(George gets up and starts walking towards Kirsty, she puts her
hand out to take her soul, then she remembers how she was reaped (clip of pilot) and she
can't do it and sits down next to her)
GEORGE: Hi
KIRSTI: Do you work for the railroad?
GEORGE: No
KIRSTI: I'm not supposed to talk to you unless you work for the
railroad
GEORGE: Okay, I work for the railroad
KIRSTI: Where's your uniform?
GEORGE: It's at the cleaners. It's okay. What's your name?
KIRSTI: Kirsti
(VO) I didn't know what to say after that, I mean it's not as if
it is covered in Seasame Street, so I asked
GEORGE: You ever been to Seaworld? (shakes her head no) Magic
Mountain? (shakes her head no) Disneyland?
KIRSTI: (nods in agreement) I like Donald Duck
GEORGE: Yeah me too. You know how when you spend all day at the
park getting
on all the rides and you don't want to stop and then your parents say it's
time to go home, only your'e not ready yet, you just want to go on one more ride, but
you can't and it's not fair and youre pissed off.... is any of this making sense?
(shaked her head no again and George hears creaking. shows you the
couplings for the train and Rube still driving)
GEORGE: Why don't you come sit with me?
TRAIN PORTER: Miss, everything alright?
GEORGE: Yes we're just changing seats
TRAIN PORTER: You know this little girl?
KIRSTI: I don't know her
TRAIN PORTER: Maybe you should both go back to your assigned seats
KIRSTI: NO. She should come sit with me (the couplings separate
and the two
carts come apart. Everyone starts to panic and scream George grabs Kirsty and
puts her in a different seat)
GEORGE: Sit down and hold on to something
KIRSTI: Mr Blinky!!(her frog is still by the other seat and the
train is travelling very fast indeed, it comes to a corner and doesn't make it and tumbles
down the hill, into trees)
TRAIN PORTER: Everyone okay? There was 10 passengers in this car.
I'll count you all off. 1, 2, 3, 4...
(VO)Sweet Kirsti with her sweet baby doll dress and her patterned
leather Mary Jane's was alive and well
TRAIN PORTER: 6,7,8,9
(VO)I secretly hoped that this sort of thing was grounds for
termination
TRAIN PORTER: 10
(VO) and that was one more than it should be
TRAIN PORTER: We are all here
(all sitting on the round a fire)
(VO) Fortunately, the trauma of our collective near death
experience kept converation to a minimum.
TRAIN PORTER: We are probably not that far from highway 20. I'm
sure rescue team are on their way. I suggest that we use this time to keep warm and count
our blessings.
(George starts to walk off)Miss? We should stick together
GEORGE: I have to pee
GUARD: Stay close
GEORGE: (goes out of view of the others) Rube where are you?
RUBE: Keep it down
GEORGE: You could have told me it was a little girl, you dick
RUBE: Well what difference does it make?
GEORGE: It makes all the difference. Why her?
RUBE: Why do you think? She showed up for her appointment
GEORGE: Well then you should have recheduled
RUBE: That's not how it works, you just can't change fate
GEORGE: (depressed) I did
RUBE: What did you do?(louder) What did you do?
GEORGE: She's not dead. I didn't remove her soul
RUBE: You mind telling me what you think you are doing?
GEORGE: I'm letting her live
RUBE: Cardinal rule. Everybody dies. Now you better march on over
there and take her soul right quick
GEORGE: If you want her to die so bad, you do it
RUBE: I can't, no-one can, except you. Death is non tranferable,
she's your mark only you can do the deed
GEORGE: well, baring all unforeseen accidents I'd say she's got
another 80 years
RUBE: Well you believe me that's 80 years, she doesn't want
GEORGE: What is that supposed to mean?
RUBE: Her fate was seeled the moment she stepped onto that train,
her soul expired, you know what happens if you keep a soul around after it's time?
GEORGE: No
RUBE: Same thing that happens to milk, spoils, goes bad. Souls
goes bad in all kinds of ways
GEORGE: But...
RUBE: If you are having trouble comprehending the severity of the
situation. Why don't you consult webster's on the definition of bad. If you don't take
her soul it's going to wither and die and rot inside her, I've seen it happen. Do you
wish to condemn her to that?
GEORGE: She's just a little girl, she can't die, it's cruel
RUBE: It is cruel. It's cruel as she never know what life is
really like, It's cruel to miss out on love and pain and beauty. Id say it to everyone in the
world except for her.
She won't give a rat's ass, she'll be doing something diffrent,
that's just the way it is
GEORGE: I just wanted to save her
RUBE: You can't. You can't save any of them. All you can ever hope
to do is make it easier and that mighn't seem a lot but it is
(takes a deep breath)
RUBE: Go on
GEORGE: (gets to Kirsti) I don't know is this is what I'm supposed
to say I, I mean you. Do me a favour, just close your eyes
(she closes them and George touches her forehead and takes her
soul. The little girl is standing and George goes over to her and holds her hand and walks
her down a path)
GEORGE: We are going for a ride, okay?
(further up the path Rube comes to hold Kirsty's other hand. they
all have seen the lights coming for Kirsti)
GEORGE: Wait
RUBE: You cant go whether she's going
GEORGE: What is it?
RUBE: It's not for us to know
(Rube puts his arm around her and they start walking away)
(VO) As we walked into the dark unknown or whatever you want to
call it, I thought "Is this it? is this who I am? Am I really a grim reaper?(camera to Joy
walking into Reggie's room and tucking her into her bed as she is sleeping, she closes the
window and the curtain and leaves the room. George is sitting in the
closet) I think for me
death was just a wake-up call
END CREDITS
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